The Mad Poet of the Year blog posts share the poetry of a long-time Mad Poet. This year-long appointment provides readers with a deep dive of the writer’s work and thoughts on poetry. We are thrilled to have Tonita Austin (aka Toni Love) serve as the Mad Poet of the Year for 2023.
I Want to Get Off
by Tonita Austin aka Toni Love
I approach you carefully hesitating all the while
Feeling my body being pulled closer because you entice me and I love your style
So sexy the way you dip when you move
Silky smooth colored outer skin and your softness inside makes me want to sink in to you
No doubt why so many others fall in line just to be in your presence
And here I am amongst them unashamed waiting for my turn to experience the same ecstasy
I stand patiently with my heart quickly racing
Thousands of beats per minute fill my heaving chest
As you motion in my direction
My body temperature elevates my palms are moist waiting to feel you inside
Breathing heavily, approaching cautiously til you pull me close and wrap yourself around my waist and outer thigh
I hold you tight and close my eyes
Too afraid to just let go and enjoy the ride
I trust the way you ease into it gently and take it slow
The excitement builds and my heart sinks down to my feet and I forget how really fast we are going
And just when my climax begins, you drop me
and leave me
helpless
No air to breathe, no support under my feet and I don't feel the passion anymore
I'm scared and I don't know what's coming next
I can't trust that you are secure enough to protect me
Even holding me as tight as you can, I still scream from fear
because I'm afraid that when I trust you the most that you'll drop me
So I beg you to stop playing with my heart
To unwrap yourself from my torso and release me
Let me walk away with my dignity, without feeling ashamed about what I let you do to me.
I foolishly trusted you from the start and now that you've shaken both my confidence
and my heart
You will never convince me again to ride a roller coaster, I'll stick to the kiddie go-karts!
This is one of my favorite poems to perform because I love to see who really gets it in the end. This particular piece was inspired by a song "Stop the World" by one of my favorite artists, the late Teena Marie.
We've probably all been in those relationships where our emotions are being pulled in every direction and even though you may love the person or be extremely attracted to them, you know that it's not healthy for you and that you should end it.
Sometimes it takes you a while to get off (pun intended), but you eventually do!
Tonita Austin also known as “Toni Love” is a gifted poet, singer, activist, and writer born in West Philadelphia. While attending Columbia University, Tonita was a student of Amiri Baraka and performed in Ntozake Shange’s “For Colored Girls” as the Lady in Orange. Her writing is influenced by both experiences. She is a contributor to the anthology The Black Body and featured poet in the 2018 and 2020 Winter/Fall edition of the Philadelphia Arts and Urban Literary magazine. The Restoration EP is her first published recording; Toni’s Room is her first published book. Toni currently resides in Media, PA. For more info, visit www.tonitalove.com and https://tonilove.hearnow.com/.