Choose Your Own Beginning
Be About It Press
$14.99
You can purchase a copy here.
Reviewed by Katch Campbell
Some options:
A. A borderland, in its loosest definition, is a place where two entities (usually nations or societies) border each other. As a methodology, borderlands studies question what happens when distinct societies rub against each other or contest lands in between.
B. Relational Autonomy, in its paired down definition, is a feminist theory that espouses independence requires relationships and interconnectedness to fully encapsulate the female experience. One cannot experience autonomy without also understanding interdependence.
C. Theories of adult psychosocial development from researchers such as Levinson, Valliant, and Neugarten.
D. All The Above
These above concepts all presented themselves to me during my readings of Amy Saul-Zerby’s new collection, Choose Your Own Beginning. While I admit, having a background in both medicine and literature is the most likely reason why these and not something else, I assert they are good “Beginning(s)” for new readers of this collection to ‘begin from.’
A. Borderland
Zerby’s poems create a sense of shifting borders between the speaker and self, the speaker and relationships, and between the speaker and reader. While the border may shift to create texture and control urgency, Zerby’s authority over language and form grounds the reader. The second poem:
I CAN LET ANYONE INSIDE ME IF I WANT TO
can fuck you without
either of us taking off
our shoes & pretend like
it didn't happen.
i could never do what you do
says a stranger after
the reading. says
you're very brave
i don't bother telling her
that i'm not really, i've just
been thru so much worse
than stage fright
A. Relational Autonomy
Over and over throughout Zerby’s collection the reader experiences the push and pull of wanting to be in relation to self, others, world, and yet having internal demands that the narrator not be dominated by their external. Examples include the title poem,” CHOOSE YOUR OWN BEGINNING,”” IF I TELL YOU I LOVE YOU,” and
JFC
this is brutal
trying to fly but
idk today
o, my lost suitcase!
quiet love of
my fucked up life
i’m in it until i’m notin love w
the idea of myself
but also not at all
god forgive me for ever
haven’t wanted
to swallow you
don’t want to be scared
anymore but the world is
still here, you know?
C. Theories of adult psychosocial development
There is a sense of time passing as one reads through this collection. As if the narrator is one person and as if the poems pass somewhat sequentially through a series of steps toward mid-adulthood. The moments that lead to identity, toward intimacy, and onward, a path toward what Valliant calls, Integrity. The first two stanzas of:
TOUCH THE SKY
not because
we’re running out
of time
but because
we can
start to see it
passing
not that we’ll die
without it
but that
you never know
until it’s
too late
The final poem, “ON HAVING BEEN IN LOVE FOR NEARLY HALF MY LIFE,” with expanded and contracting stanzas appropriately reads like a summary of what has gone before, what is happening now, and what is to come. A life being honored, remembered, and created in real-time. Amy Saul-Zerby puts it all on the line, in her book of 29 poems.
Katch Campbell is a connector. With a master’s degree in Science and an MFA in poetry, she creates metaphors for her patients and others about the world around us. Her work is an inquiry on the atrocities we commit consciously and unconsciously against each other and the universe. Katch serves as Vice President and is a permanent faculty member at the River Pretty Writing Retreat, a bi-annual workshop in the Ozarks. She has co-led immersive poetry trips to Slovenia and Italy and used to edit for ZoMag.com.